Fuck these bitches

My roommate, who is one of my best friends, started talking to this girl from his work.  He invited her over for dinner a few weeks back. Since it was their first date she brought a friend just in case he was going to try something. Guess who was stuck being his wing-man? That’s right, yours truly. Ole’ Bourbon had to make his friend look good.

I won’t lie. I really didn’t want to do it. I had to however. He has driven me home many nights when I’m drunk. He’s also one of the best people I’ve ever met, hence why he is one of my best friends. So I went through with it. They arrived and in came two very lovely ladies. We sat down for dinner and then there was quietness. Being the loud ass I am, I started making jokes. My roommate and his date sat there shy while me and her friend talked and talked.

To be honest, I had a good time. I thought both girls, mainly the one I had to chat with were cool. After talking to my roommate, we agreed we should make a double date again. This is when the true colors of these bitches came out. I am happy for once; I made the right judgment call about these two. I’ve lost a many battles letting my heart (or boner) take over my common sense level.

First, I added the girl my friend was talking to on Facebook. Her profile said she was seeing a guy who was not my roommate. Our friend Shannon and I both questioned him about this. He gave us two different stories. I quickly deleted the girl. I knew right then and there I did not trust her at all. Of course they also canceled the double date on us at the last second. Right then and there I was done with both of them. I kept my mouth shut toward my roommate. He is his own man. He can make his own choices.

I know nothing about the girl I tried getting to know. I didn’t ask my roommate things after they ditched us. He however, has made a few dates with the one he likes. She has ditched him at least three more times I know about. Something always “comes up” last second. I have said nothing. Shannon, who agrees 100% with me, has said nothing. It’s his life, let him waste it.

This brings me to December 10, 2012. I was invited to dinner. He was meeting the two girls and a guy they all work with. I was bored and had to work that night. Hell, I went. At first I thought everything was good. I noticed the girl I once tried talking to was very quiet when compared to last time. Other than that, it seemed like a decent get together. We made jokes, told stories and talked. Then the girl I once wanted to get to know showed how much of a cunt she is to say the least.

I ordered a chicken sandwich with no tomatoes. I hate tomatoes. When my food came the girl said something along the lines of, “Is your sandwich good? Did they leave the tomatoes off? We would hate to see you have an allergic reaction to them and die.” Now, this bitch had only met me once prior to this. Who the fuck makes this joke? If my friend Shannon made this joke, okay, maybe I wouldn’t react badly. I mean, we are close and good friends. This bitch doesn’t know me.

A few minutes later she said, “I wish I could just look at you and catch you on fire.” Again, who the fuck does this cunt think she is? She’s cute but I’ve had way better. Shit, my ex Liz looks better than her. The girl waiting on us looked much, much better. I kept my cool and said very little. Then after hearing more of her comments I finally got my chance. Her grandmother called. Being the prick I am, I said something along the lines of “Oh cute, an old person is calling.”

The girl my friend likes looked at me and said, “You jerk.” Which in return, I just smiled and said; “Now you’re getting to know me.” When the other one got off the phone she said something like “Motherfucker, who do you think you are?” My point exactly. You don’t know me, yet you wish I would die of an allergic reaction or catch on fire. I made a joke about an old person. Not like your grandmother knows where she is. Hell, she probably shit her pants while on the phone. Why was she even calling at 730 PM? Isn’t “Matlock” or reruns of the “Andy Griffith Show” on?

I’m stopping there. It didn’t run my night. It actually gave me a chuckle. I laughed because I kept my cool. I was at one of my favorite hangouts. I did not want to disrespect the owner. Second, I kept thinking if Liz would have been cool, she would have more than likely been there. She would have laid one or both of those bitches out. Why get mad or upset? I’m not even mad writing this. I love sharing my personal experiences with others. I actually had a good night, besides working later that night.

Hopefully my roommate will see what I saw a few weeks back. These bitches are white trash. I am above them and am thankful I didn’t waste a dime on a double date. I have and can, do better than either one of them. My roommate also can. Unlike me, he needs to grow some hair on those balls. I consider myself a nice guy. I am loyal, trustworthy, dedicated, giving and I love those who are close to me. The difference between my roommate and me is simple. He lets people walk all over him. I put them in their places.


Pics of “Brittany Green” my internet “love interest”

I hardly use my yahoo email these days. I check it monthly at best. I dug through there today and found pictures of “Brittany Green”. You can read the back stories about her here and here. If this is actually her, I would so be into her.

Cute girl. Not sure who is actually sending me these emails under the name “Brittany Green”, but cute as a button.

The email claims she is the “French Maid”. I am not even sure if that’s the same chick in the above picture. But hey, thanks for sending me a picture of four hot women. My male readers will enjoy!

Secret Service protects Obama and bangs hookers from Colombia

Full story here

WASHINGTON — The Secret Service has uncovered evidence that all 11 members under investigation for alleged misconduct with prostitutes in Colombia before President Obama’s arrival there for a summit meeting last weekend had taken women to their rooms, Representative Peter T. King, the chairman of the House Committee on Homeland Security, said on Tuesday.

Investigators for the Secret Service in Colombia are seeking to interview the women, Mr. King said, adding that the agency had copies of their identification cards, which they were required to leave with the hotel before going into the rooms. He said that additional Secret Service members had been dispatched to Colombia to conduct interviews and that the Colombian government was “not being unhelpful” with the investigation.

“The 11 agents are having different recollections about what happened or are not telling the truth,” said Mr. King, who was briefed on the investigation on Tuesday morning by the head of the Secret Service, Mark J. Sullivan.

The 11 individuals were part of a much larger Secret Service contingent, numbering in the dozens, that was supporting Mr. Obama’s visit. The group arrived in Colombia on Tuesday or Wednesday and, according to Mr. King and a senior United States official, had not yet been briefed on their specific assignments or started their official trip duties when they went out on Wednesday night and met the women.

Big deal, what man doesn’t like some Latin booty?

Jersey Shore – the worst show of all-time

Jersey Shore is the stupidest show I’ve ever seen. The show has put Italian Americans back 20 years. I once tried to watch an episode. After about five minutes I turned the channel. I felt like my IQ level was losing points. I would have rather stepped on a nail than watch another minute. A few of the women are sexy. Normally I would watch just for that. But that didn’t change how horrible, idiotic and stupid this show was. The girls could have done girl on girl and I still would change the channel. That’s how bad that show is.

People who watch this show must be the dumbest people on earth. How bad is your life that you spend 30 minutes watching a bunch of spoiled brats argue over where to club, how to make spaghetti correctly and whose dick is the smallest due to constant steroid use? Porn has better acting than this crap. My guess is once the females on this show are washed up that porn will be the next step. I just hope their orgasms aren’t as annoying.

Where is the Mafia when you need them? Aren’t they ashamed of the image these pieces of trash are giving Italian Americans? I doubt if Al Capone was alive today he would have allowed this to take place half as long as it has. I pray daily that one (whole cast be even better) overdoses on anything. Hell, huff paint thinner. Do something other than being on TV. Swim with hungry sharks, start a Russian Roulette Team or sky dive without a parachute.  Too bad we have a loving God and not a mean one.

If you are a fan of this show please don’t have children. For liking this crap makes you even worse than the cast members. At least they get paid to act that dumb – I’m sure they were dumb before the paychecks came in. I picture the average fan of the show. Mostly female, late teens to early 30’s and mostly white. I’m guessing most are also spoiled brats that argue over the same petty shit you see on the show. Sad that these people have the same rights as you and me. There’s a reason our country is a mess. Find a Jersey Shore fan, and then talk to them. There’s your answer.

In my 31 years on earth I’ve seen my share of bad shows. But this has to be the worst of all time.  A comedy about Hitler couldn’t be worse than Jersey Shore. I highly doubt that Hitler’s humor in real life was worse. Well, maybe I’m going a little too far. But if I had my choice, I’d rather listen to Hitler do stand-up than watch Jersey Shore. Watching the show is complete torture. I finally understand why people commit suicide.