I am normally the “nice” writer on Strange Brew. All of that is going to change in this article. Bourbon Stilz is a dear friend of mine. I find him to be maybe the most honest person I’ve ever met. His parents are both great people. I have nothing but respect and good things to say about him. He’s far from perfect. But I trust the man more than I do most of my own family. That says a lot.
A while back a story on Strange Brew was written about Casey Anthony. The article was not even written by Bourbon. In no way, shape or form did we defend her or her “innocence”. The article was poking fun at us wanting to fuck her. I can speak for everyone on this site – we believe the slut was guilty. This site is satire. We are poking fun at the obsession with this case, the love Casey received and the fame she has for simply being a slut. Nobody on this site thinks she was actually innocent.
“Jessica M” as we shall call her, is an ex of Bourbon’s. I’ve never heard Bourbon once bad mouth her. He actually thought of her as a good friend – a close friend. The two dated and things didn’t work out. That’s life. He moved on, she moved on. The two shared a great friendship, or so Bourbon thought. Instead, he was being a nice guy for no reason. It was a one-way friendship.
Jessica took offense to the “Casey Anthony” article. Which hey, I understand, she’s a mother and Anthony killed a child. I doubt my wife, also a mother, would have enjoyed the article, which is why she doesn’t read the site (or so I hope). Instead of taking the article as satire, Jessica gave Bourbon a lecture of how horrible he was, how mean and bad of a friend he is. And that didn’t settle well with yours truly.
See, I know a lot about Bourbon. I knew him when he dated Jessica, many years ago. I knew him before her. I know him now. To question his friendship says a lot about what kind of person she is. Hearing and reading what she said to him made me thankful my good friend didn’t marry this loser. He can do much better than her. So I am going to tell the story of how it is, with or without the approval of Bourbon’s. My guess is he will enjoy this article.
Bourbon was a bad boyfriend – Back then he did hang with the wrong crowd. That’s not the issue here. Even back then he was loyal as loyal can be. She on the other hand was busy sleeping around with men (and women), lying and abusing drugs. Those are facts which I dare her to debate.
His parents are bad people – Jessica likes to say Bourbon’s mom cheated on his dad. His parents have been married for over 50 years. Jessica’s parents divorced years ago and her mother banged every known man for pills, booze and rent money. Her mom’s last man died due to drinking.
His family is trash – Well, all three of his sisters are married with families. Bourbon and two of his sisters are college educated. Jessica’s sister was a stripper for years. Her dad lived off of welfare due to a “disability”. What was his “disability”? Being about 100-150 pounds overweight and not wanting to work. Her mom also collected welfare. Bourbon’s dad is a retired carpenter and served his nation during war time (Korean War). Her fat coward dad “sat out” the war.
Bourbon is a loser – He hung with a bad crowd for years. He changed his life around and got away from that. He’s college educated and has a good job. Nothing fancy but a working man’s wage. He has great friends. He cares for his friends. I know this better than anyone. Jessica on the other hand claimed while in college at Morehead State a bunch of black college basketball players raped her. Really? Why was no charges filed? Sounds to me she was busted by her husband sucking cock and that’s the lie she told him. Sadly, the moron must have bought the myth.
Bourbon is an unhappy person – Did she actually know him or just sucked his cock a lot? He’s one of the funniest and happiest persons I’ve ever met. At times he makes me sick of how happy of a jack ass he is. I hate the bastard – joking of course.
He goes out of his way to talk to her – Does John Martin need to be here? This is the same girl who wanted to leave her current husband for Bourbon. I don’t recall him once wanting to leave any girlfriend for her, even the last cunt he dated. He must be hung well because I recall phone conversations of her begging him to take her back while she was married!
If our site offends you, get a life. Read our “About Us” section. This is SATIRE. Nothing we say is based on facts. I actually wrote the “About Us” section. We are three guys with nothing better to do. We enjoy comedy and poking fun at everyday life. If our site costs anyone to end a friendship, you’re a fucking loser. Seriously. But I won’t tolerate anyone bad mouthing a close friend of mine. You want to run your mouth, go ahead. I’ll run it here to a site that is read by thousands weekly. You lose, we win. So fuck off.
Bourbon is a great friend. I trust him. I trust him around my wife and child. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. I am honored to be a writer of this idiotic website. After moving away from Louisville I am thankful I still have friends like him there anytime I visit. This article is dedicated to a true friend – a friend that is one in a million.