Destroyer (Kiss – 1976)

God of Thunder – No virgins kneeled before me. However, my luck with women has been good (sex wise; not dating wise) this year. I’ve had a lot of fun this year to say the least. I want to settle down with one woman but until then, I will have my fun.

Great Expectations – When I meet women I keep my expectations low. Don’t get me wrong, I have standards and want something long-term and real. I never catch a break though. I saw a friend’s cousin. What drama that turned out to be. I tried talking to a girl at work. Wow, what a nut-case. I gave my ex another chance. What a dumb bimbo and a complete waste of time.

Shout It Out Loud – I hate people who are crazy and bitch. I picked up an ex and tried being a nice guy. The bitch got jealous about a better looking girl at the bar who spoke to me. She whined that I take her home. I agreed. After minutes of non-stop bitching, she demanded I pull over and let her out. I agreed. Then the bitch refused to get out of my car. Of course I won the battle and the bitch walked home. My eardrums are still ringing from her drama ass crying.

Do You Love Me – Apparently our “loving” God has a great sense of humor. He likes to taunt me with fake ass women that play games. Can’t a white cracker like me have some love? What more does a white face have to do?

Bad pick up lines

Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?

Can you please scratch my back? My arms are far too muscular for me to reach.

Is there a mirror in your pocket? ‘Cause I can really see myself in your pants.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

When God said, “Let there be woman,” he created you.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see around here.

Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

Sad thing is, some dude will be using these by the end of the night.

What ex girlfriends always say after you break up

Ex – You have a small penis

Me – Maybe, but you still let me poke you weekly for the entire 6 months we dated.

Ex – You sucked in bed.

Me – Oh well. I enjoyed banging you. Also enjoyed banging the women I slept with behind your back.

Ex – I can do better than you.

Me – Really? Apparently not, because you dated me.

Ex – None of my friends liked you.

Me – Mostly true. But your friend Lisa was great at giving head.

Ex – My family didn’t like you.

Me – I would love to see your younger hot sister in a thong.

Ex – I never did love you.

Me – I didn’t love you. I enjoyed the free apartment and sex.

Penis Pills : So many choices, so little time

Daily I see ads for adding inches to my penis. Most products claim 3-4; some up to 5 or 6. What would I do with a 16-18 inch penis? Anyways, what products are the best, if any?

Only $31.99? Where the hell is the free month supply?

Hey, these are “top rated”. Guess these are the pills that add 3-6 inches!

Not only are they penis pills, they are a dietary supplement! (read the bottom right hand corner)

What? They even make chewing gum that makes the penis grows! Hell, young boys can start young.