When I was 23 I dated this girl named Ashley. I normally dig redheads and darker hair women. Man I was so in love with this natural blonde. She was about five foot three. Her body could melt butter. She had green eyes that only an angel from heaven could have. Ashley was an excellent cook. She would rub and scratch my back for hours, never once complaining about it.
Anytime I took her out I felt I had the most beautiful girl in the room. I even told my mom that she was way, way out of my league. She had this crooked smile that I loved. She was very shy, got upset easily and cared deeply about others. At times she wore those “naughty librarian” glasses which just added to her sexiness. She always smelled good and made anything she wore look sexy.
I was a lucky guy. She would come over and clean my place. She did my laundry. I got sick once and she came over just to baby me. I know it was boring for her. I was in bed sick, being lazy. She never left my side, rubbing my head, cramming medicine down my throat and made me eat soup. I would wake up from time to time only to have her still loving on me with that crooked smile.
Like an idiot I was friends with all the wrong people. I was a very horrible person back then. I never put Ashley first. I made her second or third behind my politics. I cared about her. I loved her. I just never showed it the same way she did. Most of my time was spent putting her down or making her feel less than me. I made her cry a few times. I did everything wrong while she did everything right.
Overtime, Ashley finally used common sense. She knew she could do better. One day she called me and told me she was done. I don’t recall her exact words. They were something along the lines of “I love you, Mike. I just don’t want to be hurt anymore.” And that was that. That was the end of Ashley being in my life. I haven’t even seen her in person since. I have not heard her voice since then.
To make a long story short is simple. The person I was back then no longer exists. That is a part of my life I put behind me. Ashley never got to see who I was deep down inside. For those wondering, yes, I’ve tried talking to her in more recent times. She has turned me away every single time. To be honest, I don’t blame her. I did what I did and I can’t change that. I hurt her a lot and I don’t deserve her forgiveness.
I don’t think about her often. Sometimes when I see a female with a crooked smile, I picture her face. Every now and then I try to recall how her voice sounded. When I am out somewhere and I see someone that sort of looks like her I always hope it is her so I could recall how beautiful she was in person. I just hope she is happy. I hope she is being taken care of. I hope a guy is treating her half the way she treated me. She deserves to be the happiest woman on earth.
