I’m up bored watching AVGN videos. Every once in a while I see a commercial for a 1-800 “Dating” or “College Girl Chat”. First off, who actually calls them? Second, who is dumb enough to believe the women you are talking to look hot like they do on TV? Hot girls are not calling free chat lines. They are at a club, showing some ass or cleavage and getting free drinks from nerds like myself.
Call them, they’re bored. In reality you are talking to a woman who looks like this………………
Women like this call free 1-800 chat lines, just saying.
I doubt she is home alone on a Friday night. If you call the chat line you will be talking to her co-worker that looks like this……
She is home on a Friday night.
Yeah, she is so not calling a 1-800 chat line anytime soon. This girl will however……
Meet Mindy. She is single, jobless and likes crack……..
Black guy that pretends to be white -
Instead of talking normal, he tries way too hard to blend in with white people. He loves Martha Stewart, listens to Pearl Jam and Nirvana and follows the NHL.
Puerto Rican girl with ghetto ass –
No complaining here. Just someone we all know!
Old paranoid Jewish guy
He hates every gentile, especially those with “German” sounding last names.
The hot mom that hits on her daughter’s boyfriend -
She will grab her daughter’s boyfriend right by the crotch even with her daughter in the room.
10. Louisville Craigslist
9. Finding a hooker in Louisville
8. Strange Brew in Louisville
7. UK and U of L fans
6. Dr. Robert Noel Louisville, KY
5. Ugly women in Louisville
4. Stan Curtis, jail
3. The Highlands Taproom
1. Louisville Strange Brew
With nearly 1,000 porn movies under his belt and more cases of crabs than I’ve had sex with women, what more needs to be said?
Most people have seen a porn movie or parts of a porn movie. Porn has become a billion-dollar industry. What is it that we as humans like about porn? Have you actually paid attention to the movie? I can name 50 bad things about porn. Just like you however, I keep watching. Man, the tissues and hand lotion I’ve used watching porn. My smart phone buttons are even stuck together now.
The acting – How bad can the acting be before we stop calling it acting? Do they even have scripts for porn? Most lines are “Suck it baby”, “Oh yea, yea, yeah” or “Harder, or harder, faster.”
The Music – Porn may have the worst music of all-time. It’s either a disco type theme with major bass lines or new age electronic/techno. I’m convinced that the same man who wrote porn music in the 1970’s is still alive making music today.
The Male Actors – I will admit. Porn has some hot women. Have you seen the men? Don’t get me wrong, they pack a baseball bat in their pants, but come on. How are people born this ugly and hairy? Besides porn, where else do people this ugly get laid so easy?
Unrealistic – Seriously……………………. A cop pulls over a hot blonde. She blows him for freedom. The milf mom helps her hot young stepdaughter cope with a break-up with lesbian sex while the pool boy joins in. The priest has an orgy with four hot nuns…. This is not reality.