Middle-age, single, never been married man says, “I love to decorate, collect art and walk my dog in the park.”
Translation – I’m gay.
Woman with no picture on dating site says, “I’m thick in all the right places.”
Translation – I’m fat as a pig.
Man tells his guy friends, “My dick is huge.”
Translation – My dick is beyond small.
After five-minute sex woman says, “I had the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”
Translation – That was the worst sex I’ve ever had in my life.