Ex – You have a small penis
Me – Maybe, but you still let me poke you weekly for the entire 6 months we dated.
Ex – You sucked in bed.
Me – Oh well. I enjoyed banging you. Also enjoyed banging the women I slept with behind your back.
Ex – I can do better than you.
Me – Really? Apparently not, because you dated me.
Ex – None of my friends liked you.
Me – Mostly true. But your friend Lisa was great at giving head.
Ex – My family didn’t like you.
Me – I would love to see your younger hot sister in a thong.
Ex – I never did love you.
Me – I didn’t love you. I enjoyed the free apartment and sex.